Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Action Time baby Action Time

So now that I have read these super duper inspirational blogs – knock your knickers off kinds – now what? Where do I begin? Or do I even have to begin because I’ve already started.? If I've started, then I just need to know where the line of start is, because I cannot see it - yet. Maybe, I need to really see it or train myself to see it.

What am I feeling right now? Honestly, I am content – DANGER!! Yes, I am content with the way things are right now and that’s driving me insane because the fizz is missing and I am nothing without a nice bubbly fizz. What do I do? Run away from my cozy job into the arms of mangled, fumbled, totally crazy unknown. Will this unknown caress my cheeks and wave through my hair in consolation when I cry in stress or frustration? LOOK!! I just did it – I created a monster even when there was no need for it. I created all these scenarios of crying even without lifting my right toe. How stupid can I be?

Why am I discounting myself without giving myself the push? Oooh, world!! Why did you program my mind this way and why did I even let you? Something needs to happen, I can feel it in my guts. Something really needs to happen or I will fall apart in the ruts of gung-ho, standard, stereotype and safe haven.

I need to run, run in any direction even if I don’t know where the road is turning. I need to spend all my energy, because even when I do that, the breaths will still be mine and I will still be alive.

No more talking – typing or whatever. ACTION TIME, baby, ACTION TIME.

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